Dark thoughts: Is rape a lesser crime than murder?

What do you think? I’m just not sure, whether torture or rape (which is, in my opinion, a form of torture) is less than murder. Rape and murder “changes” lives and usually not only the one from the victim. It can both end lives and it is both unwillingly. Sometimes, when I feel very bad, I think that rape + murder would be better for the victim (such as me). Almost as if that is more merciful for the victim. Because now I’m and will be punished for life. You can never truly forget it and that can really bother me sometimes. Rape is just so horrendous, you can’t imagine it unless you’ve been through it. Even then it can still be different and I do not mean ‘less awful’. It could have happened multiple times, maybe multiple people, maybe outside or inside, maybe with a gun to your head etc.

I think you can never truly imagine how it specifically went and felt for the victim, except for the victim. This makes it harder for the victim to “process” and to get the proper care and responses and everything else you need. On the other hand, that might be better for our loved ones. My partner is very emphatitic, I’ve never experienced someone who can imagine it so well as he can. And this can really eat him up, damage him too. It’s awful to see that, but we agreed that I still can talk about it (even in detail) when I feel the need, or when it’s necessary (when I’m cropping everything up and avoiding everything etc.).

I think I can never fully decide on which is worse. It partially depends on my mood of course. I’m not always thinking this dark. Overall, I’ve improved a lot and am hardly depressed anymore, which I wrote about before. Somehow this week is different, but I’m still not feeling depressed every day, which I’m very happy about. I’m just in one of my regular fallbacks and I also know how this one got triggered.

Back to the subject, I’m sorry for going off topic. The question whether rape is truly a lesser crime than murder, popped into my head because I read something. Apparently there was once a game made, which was called Rapelay. I really don’t want to get into details a lot and I wish I never came across the page about controversial video games. I think you can imagine what it is about, but it probably is worse… Let’s just say that it’s a game where it is your objective to rape. Thank god it got banned, after 3 years or so. But the makers of the game defended against the ban by saying that rape is a (far/much) lesser crime than murder and there are many games in which you kill. I think it is different for a video game if you shoot a few pixels from a distance or torture/rape them in excruciating detail while having plenty of options to do so and having to make every movement. But I actually didn’t want to write about game violence and which one is worse blahblahblah (which doesn’t mean that I think it’s unimportant, it’s just not what I’m focusing on right now).

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[Picture of a campfire and the text: What’s worse rape or murder].

What do you think? Is rape a lesser crime than murder? Might it sometimes be better for the victim if he/she would be killed afterwards? We probably all know the tv episodes/movie scenes in which people “jokingly” say that if the other person is going to rape and murder them, if they would please do the murdering part first. Which makes it sound as if dead is better than being raped. And I don’t mean that all rape victims should kill themselves, or if anyone should for that matter. I’m just theoretically wondering, it’s not something I want to actually put in practice. But sometimes I think I (and not only me) would have been better off killed (in this case I mean by someone other than myself).

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